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Author finds strength through pain in her new book
Statesville Record & Landmark, December 25, 2005 by Phyllis Benton
Phyllis Benton's lively spirit defies her past — childhood abuse, bouts of depression and attempted suicide.
Benton shares these painful experiences in a new book titled "Living Nightmares of Abuse."
The cover features a woman sitting in an upright fetal position because "it exudes a woman depressed, alone and frightened, much like I've been," Benton said.
Even at 53, Benton said, it is difficult for her to digest everything she has endured.
"I didn't realize how much abuse I'd gone through," she said. "As I wrote, I was reliving everything like I was there again."
Writing the book proved to be therapeutic, but that's not why she set out to write it.
Benton hopes other abused women can glean from the book a very important lesson.
"Things can be replaced, but your life can't," she said. "Life is too short to go through abuse."
Benton grew up in a small fishing town in Maine, living with her parents and seven siblings.
"We were the poorest family in the town," she said.
When her mother's friend molested her, she jumped out of a second-story window in the family's home to escape.
"I just knew I wanted to get away from him," she said. "I wasn't worried about hurting myself."
After one abusive relationship failed in New Hampshire, she found herself heading for North Carolina into another relationship with the same characteristics.
AUTHOR: It took a lot to write the book
Those painful incidents have made her stronger and more aware, Benton said.
"Everything happens for a reason," she said. "It brought me to a relationship with my husband."
Benton now lives in Statesville with her husband of nearly four years, David.
He said he has no desire to read her book and learn about the dark sides of her past.
"Some things need to re-main personal, and you don't need to know every personal aspect of the person you're with," David said.
Writing the book has helped Phyllis break out of her shell, he said.
"She's a lot more outspoken than she used to be," he explained. "She used to be afraid somebody would put her down."
Friend Angie Lewis said she has only known Phyllis for a short time but admires her spirit.
"It took a lof for her to write a book about something a lot of people would feel shame over," Lewis. "It was courageous.
"Going through that, I think she's ripened into a better person and has grown out from it."
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